The reason why I don't want to go to India, China, Myanmar or any other country that spells beggar on the streets! and the poor skinny as a stick while the rich throwing out excess food is because I feel sad, you know? There's a need, my need to cry and be all teary and emotional, I will suddenly not have any appetite for anything, I realize I'd been quite spoilt, I think I love branded stuff too much when the Pakistan women are fighting for emancipation, I think I wasted food frequently when the whole Kenya people are starving,I feel the need to make a change. And then,just when I thought THE CHANGE is near, that I'm changing to be a better person, the one who always volunteer for charity and never hesitate to help others, of course, I will always meet distractions,luxuries and all the richness of life that I feel I am too much compelled by all of it that I couldn't be all simple and humble again.I have a high moral superiority that masked me and made me even worst then those who never have any. The guilt does accumulate over the years, yelling at me to do something about all these. Yet I felt incapable to make a change-I'm afraid of failures, and the Finger of the society that wants you to become what you should and not what you want. I'd always been told that we should be selfish sometimes, we should live for ourselves, we should take care of our image as that is what shape our lives, we should enjoy the pure luxuries of life and money, money DOES make the world go round, well, at least oval.I know all of these excuses are useless attempts of mine to brush of the fact that I AM a coward. I think I'm a whole lot of bad person because I know I am right. And because I know what is right and yet sit here, tears half dried on my cheeks and do nothing about it.