I was gonna write about my trip to Japan. I was gonna write about how the snow fell oh so gently from the sky. I was gonna write about how everything was coated in white and how the weather was not as terribly cold as I thought it would be. I was gonna write about how mom and dad seems so stress out and tired but content. I was gonna write about how I got lost in Sapporo and cried. I was gonna write how angry I felt. I was gonna write how spoilt I was. I was gonna write how the food in Japan is super delicious. I was gonna write how everything there was so kitschy and cute and colourful and creative. I was gonna write. I was.

But guess what. You were in my mind, but you were not there.You were constantly plucking my brain nerves, but you were not there. You were constantly creeping out from the darkest part of my heart,but you were not there. You were constantly tearing my soul apart, but you were not there.

And then, I saw you.

I was so glad that finally, I'd got to see you. I am so thankful to her and to the Lord up High. I was so thankful you were partly there, even if its just a few hours, even if its at the wee hours. I was tired but I don't feel my head bobbing. I was tired but you were there, there, right in front of me so bright and real it blinded my eyes. You were there, and you were wonderful to stare at. Do I need to spell it out? Do I need to say more? Do I need to tell the world how I feel towards you? I don't. You know it that I do. I do love you with every bit of my aching heart. I do love how your eyes sparkle like amelyst. I do love how your thick lips make me weak in my knees. I do love how your smile makes everything, even the saddest thing happy. I do love how you cheer me up everytime.I do love how we talked as if we were the only ones in this world.

I know what Im gonna love in the future.

I'm gonna love how your hair curls softly beneath my hand. I'm gonna love how my hand feels in yours. I'm gonna love how we snuggle in the couch and just stay silent in each others embrace. I'm gonna love how you could stare at me all day and me too, without blinking. I'm gonna love how we would be in sync and know what each other is thinking. I'm gonna love us. I know it. We're gonna love us.

Do you?