It's funny how human nature is. When we have it in our hands we tend to take it for granted,thinking that it'll always be there and never go away. We do not really need it; We may not even want it. But the feeling of having it is wonderful;As if the whole world looks at you differently and for the moment you are completely unique, beautiful,whole because what you have holds you highly in its regard. The feeling caresses you, feels you, embraces you until you feel invincible, as if you have nothing to lose. That's when you start being a pig head.
You take things for granted and start feeling unsure for this feeling. You feel the warmth but you do not want to return back the favour, merely giving some away because it is needed; Because it is universally known that one must receive and give. It is the cycle of feelings, the rule and the law. By taking things for granted, we disrupt the system. The symptoms are infamous.Firstly, you will start seeing flaws from your feelings. Secondly, you will start hearing thoughts from your inner self, that brave, bombastic, independent bitch within you who is selfish and leaves nothing for the rest but you feel as if she is right,mature and deserves a knod . Thirdly, you will start taking others opinions in regard; Even if the others are not really voicing out their objections, still you will feel it as if it was the coming heat before a storm- Hot, humid, yet not too much so that you feel even more uncomfortable. Fourthly, you will try to be a good,mature person, try to break things out without damaging anything, for the moment. Lastly, when everything has been done and nothing has halt the feeling, you will listen to that inner arrogant bitch and act out her rudeness and love what she is-at first. And the last lastly, the end of the beginning? You realise what a huge childish loser you are and you are far from being the mature person you set yourself to be then. You lose.
And the beginning of the end?
I've tried to be better. I've tried to salvage our friendship. I knew when we are sorta together the feeling has always been friendship-there were never more than that, merely my yearning to be cared and touched has ruin my head, and I let it happened. It was my fault, through and through. Human nature, thats the thing. yes, theres a tinge of sadness and the longing of you being here talking to me like you used to and forgetting what happened in the past. You are a great friend and have always been there for me, even if I did not see it then. Don't get me wrong-I am not wanting this feeling to come back. It has been buried deep within that special place where a tombstone of your name is forever carved in hearts and laughter. But I want forgiveness, a true one. You are smart, funny, sweet, caring, charming, a great friend and most of all, a good whole being that shines and hurts everybody's eyes. Now the feeling that I first gotten when I saw your happiness is just an 'Awww'. I am glad. I wished you the best in life and most importantly, true ,whole happiness. You two deserves the best of each other, truly.