Valentines wasnt what I'd expected and I wasn't expecting myself to be so hung up by the lack of it. I mean, I never really thought of Valentines Day as a NEED to go out on dates with your love ones over a quiet romantic dinner + exchange of val presents. To me its like Christmas or Birthdays, only you dont get to do it with a WHOLE group of people-You do it with that special someone. Its hard I guess to be going the distance. I thought I was up for it, tough for it and strong for it. I thought I wouldnt mind cause it felt like I'd been through this alot. But then again I was wrong. How wrong can I be. Every time I felt I was slowly knowing how to breathe again I thought of someone afar and then I forgotten how to live. I'm so emotional and dramatic, and truth to be told, Im not exactly independant,which is hard.
I did not expect to have a really down day. I thought that maybe Val would be a good day, I can see you via technology and maybe even talk to you? But then everything was FAIL.
Gald you love the vid. It was the only thing I can do to make you feel loved and Not make you feel as if I'm always a naughty angry emo girl full of tantrums. I am happy with you. Just that when you're not here, I cant find myself smiling.
I think I need to revamp and reinvent myself to be more rigid and less crazy-despo-ish.
happy valentines to all that is living, to all that is gentle, young and forgiving.